Watch Me Burn
by rae of sunshinexx
Summary: She laid on the ground crying, her body was sore and screaming at her with each move she attempted to make. But she only wanted one person in that moment, only one embrace. "Jesse?" She muttered into the phone, her hands clasping tightly around the phone.
1. Chapter 1: Up Against The Wall

"All I said was hello, Finn. Although I might hate him, I do feel like I need to be civil when we do come in contact with one another."

"Why, Rach? He left you broken in the school parking lot covered in eggs. To me, that's someone you write out of your life."

"But I can't Finn, I can't just forget him."

"Again, I ask you why? It is stupid! You scream at me for the littlest things and it takes you weeks to forgive me! And then him, you still talk to after everything he's done. Why is it so simple?"

"Because I loved him, alright Finn?" But his reaction was something that she did not expect. They had been going on and on about her encounter with Jesse from the moment she told him that she had seen him.

For months, Finn had been at her side and neither had spoken of the boy who left Rachel high and dry. Neither talked about how he had used Rachel. And Rachel definitely did not mention the fact that she still found herself crying to sleep some nights with images of those blue-green eyes rather than the brown she should be dreaming of.

So, when she wandered into the music store after almost a year, her pain that had been hidden for months on end began to resurface.

All the heartache, all the anger. It boiled in her doe eyes as they met his. The showface that had always laid upon his lips fell as he looked upon her, taking in her new features. He noted that she was thinner, that her hair hung straight with bangs across her forehead. He took in every change but knew that no matter what, she was still Rachel.

"Hi," he had muttered and "Hello" she had replied in a chipped tone. It was just as he expected. But he couldn't blame her. It had been his fault. "Guess it'd be kind of pointless to say sorry, wouldn't it?"

If there was one thing that Jesse St. James was not good at, it was knowing when Rachel Berry would finally snap. It had only happened once when they were dating but now, it seemed as if she had no reserves.

"It wouldn't matter? It'd be pointless? Jesse, you cracked an egg on my head and then left me broken in a parking lot. I don't think a simple 'sorry' would even _begin_ to cover it! You blamed _everything_ on me, you made me feel as if I did it all to myself! If you just said 'sorry' I would not hesitate giving you the slap that you so rightfully deserve."

"Well, then a sorry and this will have to suffice." She couldn't say it was surprising, he had always been smug, but what did surprise her was how her body responded to him when Jesse placed his hands on either side of her face and pulled her lips towards his own. For everything nerve in her body burned, every inch of her skin was ignited like everything used to be when they were together. But _they_ weren't together anymore, she was with someone else.

And that's how she found herself screaming with the tall boy in front of her. His face red with anger as he waited for her to continue.

"I loved him, alright Finn? And when I saw him, I gave him a little piece of my mind! I told him that I wasn't going to just accept an apology because he hurt me worse than anyone else...and then, Finn. I don't know what happened! Before I could respond...Jesse kissed me Finn. And I'm telling you this because we have a relationship based on honesty, and I think you deserve-"

She felt the sting before her mind caught up with the sensation. Two quick moments that would change her, two that brought tears to her eyes. It was sharp and biting, leaving a knowing mark upon her once flawless cheek. She could see his hand coming back, the first time it had been to quick.

The dramatic side of her wanted to think of every second of agony for they would most certainly come in handy with her stage work. However, the logical part of her brain was telling her that crying was the only thing she could manage. _So much for me being a strong girl._

"I can't believe that you would do something like this."

And again, came the pain. It was sharp and quick and it stung like nothing she had ever felt before. "Finn, it meant nothing! It was all Jesse! I didn't even have a say in the matter! And it's not like the same thing didn't happen with us when you were with Quinn."

It was in that moment when Rachel Berry realized that her mouth would be the death of her. She didn't think before she spoke, she just let the words spew from her lips and paid the consequences later. This time, it would be brutal.

His stronger hand gripped her arms as she tried to pull away but his grip only tightened. "Finn, you're hurting me." But it seemed he didn't hear her, for she felt his hands imprinting their mark upon them.

And then, she felt the cold of the floor beneath her hands. He had thrown her from his grasp, pushing her to the ground below them. The guttural sound that escaped her lips when his foot came in contact with her stomach must have brought Finn crashing to reality. "Oh god," he muttered before she heard his heaving footsteps running out of the room and down the stairs. The door slammed behind him as she finally let the tears fall steadily from her eyes.

"_It's over, look out below. I'm wasted, I still taste it, yeah it's so hard to let go. So breathe in now, and let it out. The forecast, a car crash, it's looking like another breakdown, rebound. This could be my last goodbye, you cross your heart, I hope to die._"

And her mind began to wander, the reason behind it all. If she thought about it clearly, she might have realized that it was always him they fought over, always him they disagreed about.

"_And oh, I'm gonna be wounded. Oh, you're gonna be my wound." _Shakily, she reached for her phone, dialing the number she had never forgotten and she waited with baited breath as the ringing continued. Until his voice flooded to her ears. "J-Jesse?"

-JRJRJRJR-

She hadn't moved from her spot on the floor, her father's being out and the house silent apart from her sobs that wracked her body. She didn't hear the door open or hear his hurried steps up to her room. All she saw was the black of his shoes as he stood in the doorway.

"Rachel," he whispered as he bent down to her, gingerly touch the red marks across her face. She felt him place one arm under her legs and the other supporting her back as he carried her towards the bed that held so many memories for them both.

The grip she had on his shirt tightened as he tried to sit her down, her whimpers stopping him from laying her on the bed and tucking her in. Instead, he gently kicked off his shoes as he climbed in with her still attached to him, her tears soaking his shirt. He softly began to hum, the tune one she knew well. "_Oh, I'm gonna bruise you, oh, you're gonna be my bruise." _

"Jess," she managed to croak out as she tried to look up to him. The pads of his thumbs began to wipe away the fallen tears and when they were renewed, his lips replaced them. "_Who said that it's better to have loved and lost, I wish that I had never loved at all..._"

**Okay, so this is going to be like a 5 shot, I think, by the time it's finished and it's a little out there and unique. I have all my ideas in my head and I've written the next chapter already so I just have to finish up the rest. I'd really like some reviews on it since I really don't get that many. Comments and criticism are ALWAYS appreciated :D**


	2. Chapter 2: Face Down

The next day was a Tuesday, meaning Rachel would have to face the Hell that was McKinley High School. Her eyes remained closed as her alarm went off beside her, groaning when her sore body protested against her by sending a shooting pain through her at the movement of her arm.

"Here, I got it," resounded in her ears, the warmth that she had contributed to her blankets finally making more sense. Swiftly, Jesse reached over her and shut off the music that had begun playing from the iPod.

The realization that the night before had not been a dream came crashing down upon her once more.

"Jesse," she whispered, her voice cracking as she gently rolled back into his embrace. Throughout the night, he had held her and whenever she awoke, he'd been there whispering sweet nothings into her waiting ears. She hated feeling this weak, this insignificant, but she was warranted this one moment, wasn't she?

_What will Daddy and Dad think?_ Almost as if someone had stuck a light bulb in her head, the realization that her fathers were in the house while Jesse was sleeping in her bed had her up sitting up and talk a mile a minute.

"Oh my god! Jesse, my dads! They are going to see you try and leave and then they'll never trust me again and then I'll be forever confined to my bedroom and-" But she was silenced when Jesse's hand gently found it's way over her mouth, a slight smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

"Don't kill me, but last night, when you went to sleep, I called them. I told them as little of the situation as I could and they thanked me for being here. When they got home, much to their chagrin, they told me to just stay with you because you still refused to let go."

Curiosity got the better of her as she looked up into his eyes. She didn't care about her fathers forgiveness or the fact that they let a boy stay in her room for the whole evening. What she cared about was what exactly he had said to them.

"Jess-"

"I told them that you'd tell them when the time came, but something happened to you that you felt the need to call me over for...comfort. They said they'd talk to you when you were ready. I figured that it was not my place to interfere."

"Thank you," she whispered in a voice she knew that only he would hear. It was so soft and sweet that he thought she had returned to her adolescence. "I have to go to school," she muttered, her eyes shutting as she cuddled closer to him.

"I'm taking you to glee, that's the only time you're going to school today." There was malice in his voice as he spoke, the flames that were burning in his gaze told her to keep quiet. She didn't want him to cause a scene, a rarity for Rachel, but she didn't want the club to punished because of this. They didn't deserve to suffer from her mistake...

"Fine, just, can we keep what happened quiet? I don't-"

"No, Rachel. We can't! He _beat _you. He deserves to go to jail." She flinched at the word, her fist clenching as she clung to his shirt. "I should call the police...Rachel, you know that this isn't right, don't you?"

"Of course I know that, Jesse! I'm idiotic! I just...It was my fault, Jess. I told him about what happened in the music store and then he got angry. I kept something from him and I shouldn't have and-"

"What happened to you Rachel? How could you _possibly_ think this is in anyway your fault? Rachel, he was wrong, it's all him. There is _nothing_ on you. I'm leaving it up to you to call the police on him, but I'm not saying I will control myself when I see him. I know that I hurt you, and I hated myself for it, but this? This is far beyond anything I did, and it should never have happened. Especially not to you. So, I'm going with you to glee and I'm telling them what happened, he doesn't deserve to have this kept quiet."

-JRJRJRJRJRJR-

The halls were empty when they finally got to the school, the last bell having rung minutes before and anxious children running to their cars to head home. Jesse and Rachel were heading towards the choir room, glee rehearsals being held after school as well during.

"Jess, I think I should go in first."

"Rachel," he spoke very carefully, gauging her reaction before he continued. "If Finn so much as comes near you, I can't say that I'm just going to stand outside."

She nodded before breathing in, holding her breath as she stepped through the threshold of the choir room with Jesse standing in the doorway. "What is he doing here?" broke through the room in a chorus, all eyes on the door behind her rather than the bruise that she attempted to cover up.

"He's here for me, to make sure that I say what is needed. Something happened to me yesterday, something that should be handled by the proper officials but for the sake of this club and my friendships within it, I'm telling you all before I decide what is needed to be done."

She watched as Finn's fist clenched at his side, his eyes on the floor in front of him in fear of the reactions he would receive. Or, that's what she wished was going through his head. "Rach, I think we need to talk before you make this-"

"Don't speak to her." Jesse's voice rang out of the doorway, crossing the threshold and moving to stand beside Rachel. "You are not allowed to say a thing."

"And what right do you have to come in here and yell at Finn?" Quinn's voice was sharp, her eyebrow raised in questioning as her eyes met Jesse's. "Tell them," was all he said as he felt Rachel quickly grab his hand, her eyes wandering from the fist of Finn to the patten-leather of her shoes.

"Last night, I told Finn something that happened a few days ago, valuing the honesty in our relationship-"

"Rachel!" His voice rang out of the quiet choir room and all eyes began to look between the two, Quinn's eyes finally falling on Rachel and taking in her appearance. "Oh my god..."

All it took was Quinn's shocked expression, Finn's guarded stare, and the realization that Rachel's face was covered in heavy amounts cover-up. "Who could you?" Quinn almost screeched and did something that, especially to Rachel, was very unlike her. She crossed the room, her arms wrapping around the girl that stood before the club who began to put the situation together. Mercedes looking as if she was going to take out Finn herself, Puck standing and joining Jesse in the middle of the room.

"_Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground?"_

Jesse's voice sang directly to Finn, his eyes never wavering from the taller boy. "Oh you can't think I did this!"

Rachel gasped, separating herself from Quinn and advancing on the boy who had left her a broken mess. "I have taken you for many things, but a liar was not one of them!"

Before she could move further, Jesse's fist flew into Finn's face, the taller of the two falling to the ground and groaning from the unexpected advance. "_Well, I'll tell you my friend, one days this world's going to end. As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found._"

Jesse stood above him, Puck being held back from still continuing to hit Finn as many times possible. "I'm leaving it up to her. It's her call what she wants to do, but if it was up to me, you'd be in a juvenile center before you could think of trying to lie again." He turned around and left the room, Rachel's hand in his own as he pulled her from the room.

"Thank you," she whispered, the tears still leaving tracks down her cheeks. He pulled her into him, kissing her forehead as they made their way out of the school.

**Okay so, I don't know how I feel about this chapter but, I have a few other chapters I want to do. It's a hard story to do and it's like infusing those songs with a scene from SA that's been playing in my head. So, if you guys don't like what's going on I'm sorry. Reviews would be amazing though, criticisms are welcome. **


	3. Chapter 3: There Are Places I Remember

**Okay, so this chapter is just going to be snippets of their lives together. Because I want to get to the final chapter. It's going to end up being 4 chapters rather than 5 but this chapter should be a bit long. I'm just going through simple moments and little things leading to the end :D**

"No, I don't want to go!" His laughter filled the air around her as his hand pulled her through the snowy streets surrounding them.

"Jess, you're only in town for a few more days! I don't want to spend our last few moments together members of your old team. Especially not on today." He had forgotten, that was the only explanation she could surmise. It was December 18th, 2011. It was her senior year and a day that she should be spending with her loving boyfriend, who should have remembered the importance of said day. But it seemed that life did not want to grant her what was rightfully hers.

"Please, just for tonight? You can have your evil ways with me tomorrow if you just put a smile on and come with me-"

"Jesse!" She scolded as her cheeks turned a vibrant red. No one knew of her recent change, _no one_ but Jesse. And his simple 'evil ways' comment had the blush of her cheek speaking volumes to the world.

His throaty laugh shook through him as he pulled her to his side, wrapping his arms around her shoulder. "Trust me, okay?"

With a sigh, she followed him into restaurant, her eyes widening once she took in the banner that hung above the door. "You didn't really think I would forget your birthday, did you?"

There laid a 'Happy 17th Birthday Rachel!' sign, balloons decorating the very (newly) pink room. Slowly, the tears filled her eyes as she turned to the boy beside her. No, he wasn't a boy anymore. He was a nineteen year old man who had made her birthday special for the first time in her life. "Thank you, Jesse." And softly, she pressed her lips to his before turning to the entirety of the glee club, minus one select individual.

-JRJRJRJRJR-

She was shaking, her palms sweating as her breath came out in short bursts. His throaty laugh could almost be heard in her mind, his blue eyes looking at her with a strange kind of humor. But he wasn't there with her now.

"Alright, just introduce yourself and tell us what you are singing?"

_I should say St. James._

"My name is Rachel Barbara Berry and I will be singing _Heaven Help My Heart_."

-JRJRJRJRJR-

"Jess?" The apartment was empty, a silence that was eerily creepy to her as she shut the door behind her. She didn't like being alone, in fact she couldn't remember a time she'd be alone since...

Before she could continue her thought the door she had just shut and locked began to open, curls being visible in the opening. He turned to see her startled expression, his brow furrowing as he looked to her. "Rachel, what-"

But she silenced him by closing the gap between them, quickly kissing him before wrapping her arms around him.

There was silence among the two twenty-somethings as they both just took comfort in each others embrace. It wasn't until Jesse had realized what had happened to Rachel that day that he put two and two together. "You didn't get the part, did you?"

"Oh, but I did." She said with a soft smile, one breaking across Jesse's face as well as he pulled her back to look at her.

"Seriously? I'm currently gazing into the eyes of Joanna, the main character in the new play _Grateful_?" And silently, Rachel nodded, throwing her arms around his neck as he spun her round.

-JRJRJRJRJRJR-

"Do you, Jesse Ryan St. James take Rachel Barbara Berry to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

Jesse's gaze never left Rachel's as she responded just as he did, both too in-tuned with the other to care about the eyes upon them. All they needed was each other, no one else mattered. Not now, not ever.

-JRJRJRJRJRJR-

"I HATE YOU JESSE!" Her scream echoed through the pristine room as he held her hand, that throaty laugh filling the air along with her cries. "THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

"Of course not." But still, his face held that smirk that on any other occasion Rachel would have loved but now, being thrust into the hands of pain all because of him, she wanted nothing more than to smack it off his face.

"This is entirely your fault." She spoke in between breaths, looking up to him as she clutched onto his hand, the pain coming in a wave once more.

"Alright, on three we're going to have you push." She wasn't ready and it took that moment for her to realize it.

"One." _I can't do this, I'm not fit to be a mom...I've never had a mother._

"Two." _What if I fail?_

"Three." _No, I can do this. Nothing's going to bring me down._

And she pushed, all of her energy being exerted into letting her child into the world and when a piercing cry filled the air, a smile broke across her face.

"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. St. James, it's a beautiful baby girl."

-JRJRJRJR-

"Natalie! I told you that you have to wait until after dinner!" The small child's hand was wrapped around a cookie, chocolate already being smeared across her chubby cheeks as tears filled her blue-green eyes.

"I'm sorry, Momma." She whispered, her lip quivering as she tried to hold in the tears. Rachel sighed as she bent to pick up her four year old daughter, smoothing out the curls upon her head as she kissed her forehead. "We just won't tell Daddy, alright?"

"What won't we tell Daddy?" Jesse asked as he entered the room, Jamie hanging on his hip and playing with the buttons on his shirt.

"Oh nothing at all. Just a girls secret. Here, give me Jamie, I know you have a matinee today-"

"Actually, I'm staying home with you three." Rachel stopped mid stride, looking at her husband with a furrowed eyebrow. "Jess, you never miss a show."

"I do when on of my children is under the weather and my wife shouldn't be worrying about trying to take care of two healthy children while one is moaning in the back." He gently pushed a hair from her face, his hand coming to rest on her cheek. "I already called the theatre and told them that Audrey was sick and that I wouldn't be in. One night without Rachel and Jesse St. James won't kill Broadway.

And it was in that moment, in that small gesture that she never expected from Jesse, that she knew that life had gotten better for her over the years. That it took pain for her to realize that everything she wanted was within her grasp, the man she wanted was Jesse.

**Okay, so I did this in snippets to just kind of show what happened in their lives and to bring light to the dark that I've created. Dark comes back though. :D**

**REVIEW.**


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